Saturday, April 5, 2008
The Goodbye Party
We had a very nice 'Going Away to Africa....again" party for my man. The party list started out simple with just a few of his close friends. Then his family got involved and his mother invited the whole clan. Since the guest list grew too large to be held at his flat, we moved it at his mothers request to her property. They have a huge house and field and we were able to accommodate everyone.
At first I was a little leary about having it at her place and that the size of the party had grown so large. I thought she and his family would just take control and I would be relegated to the sidelines with no input. But I underestimated her as we actually worked well together. She took all my ideas and even added a few of her own, of which I approved, because she thought of the small details I forgot. We managed to put together a nice party for everyone that came. He had about 65 people stop by although it could have been more but I stopped counting after 30.
My man actually got drunk tonight. That was the first time in a long time he has let himself go. He really enjoyed the evening and it was good to see him let his guard down. His Uncles said they were going to get him "good N drunk" tonight and they accomplished that. I was working with his mother to make sure everyone was getting fed and having good time, but I kept my eye on him through the night. He was talking with relatives and friends and as the night progressed I noticed people kept handing him fresh beers. Then I saw him do a few shots of whiskey with his Uncles and I was wondering to myself if he realized how much he was drinking. When one of his Uncles winked at me, I knew their plan to get him drunk was working.
At one point in the night he came up to me and leaned on my shoulder and whispered that he thought he had drank too much and asked me not to let his Uncles give him any more shots of whiskey. I had to laugh a little to myself at how cute he was, this man that I am used to seeing in control being a little vulnerable. I had to admit I found it very sexy seeing that side of him and needing me to watch over him.
I told him I would get him a burger to eat and told him to go sit in one of the chairs nearby and rest until it was done. As I prepared his burger to cook on the grill he stood close behind me, laying his chin on my shoulder and between nibbles at my ear he told me how good I smelled and how much he wanted to take me home and make love with me. Part of me wanted to say OK folks the party's over, we gotta go. The other half of me was thinking I hope nobody can hear him. Fortunately it was dark and we were off away from where everyone else had gathered by the fires, so I relaxed when I noticed no one was listening.
I had just flipped the burger over on the grill to get the other side cooked when he pulled me by my hand and took me around to the side of his mothers house. We stood against the house now between two bushes where no one could see or hear us and it happened to be under his old bedroom window. He told me of the numerous times he snuck out through that window with his mates when he was a teenager and shared some other stories about his childhood at the house. We got lost in his stories and a little bit of kissing until I heard someone yell there is a burger burning. But fortunately he likes burned burgers, so he ate it anyway.
Of course the night ended the way I knew it probably would with everyone getting sentimental and crying as they said goodbye to him. He managed not to cry until we were about to leave and his mother said her goodbyes to him and she told him how proud his father would have been of him if he was still alive. That made him cry as we got in the car.
He was quiet most of the way home as he took a little nap. Fortunately, my roommate was in the backseat and told me how to get us home. I would have taken the wrong road and who knows where we would have ended up. I dropped my roommate off at our flat and my man woke up to say goodbye to him.
All the goodbyes and alcohol had drained him and when we came home he was in the bedroom getting undressed and I could hear him talking to the cats as I got a drink of water in the kitchen. Suddenly it got quiet and I checked on him. He fell asleep on the bed after taking off only one shoe. My little girl cat sitting on his chest needling his belly. I let him rest for awhile and then when I was ready for bed, I made him get up to piss and finish getting undressed. He had been playing with the fires all night long and combine that with all the drinking he did made me remember that old wives tale that playing with fire makes you piss the bed.
As he stumbled to bathroom he actually bounced off the doorway twice before finally getting through. He looked like a pinball machine and I laughed again to myself. He'll probably have some bruising from that in the morning. He made it back to the bedroom OK and as I helped him get undressed, the drunk talk started. He was talking about everything, his dad, his mom, my room mate, my cats, his friends, family, and he was angry at his Uncles for getting him drunk. When I pointed out that they didn't force him to drink all those shots and beers he raised his voice and yelled, you don't know them very well, they are shifty little bastards. I again had to laugh to myself because I had to kind of agree on that one. They are little devils that took delight in getting him drunk. I am sure they are patting themselves on the back right now at what a good job they did on him.
As I was lost in this thought and helping him get tucked into bed, he grabbed me and pulled me down on the bed with him. I laid on my back, with him curled up at my side, left arm around my waist. He talked about Africa and some of the things he saw there before and how heartbreaking it can be. How the worst part is what he sees happening to the children. Their bellies bloated from starving, bugs eating their flesh as they slowly die, the lost looks in their eyes as they look to their helpless mothers and fathers hoping they can comfort their aching bellies. The older children taught to kill and carry weapons. Young girls coming in torn and bleeding after being raped repeatedly. The look of hate for all mankind in their eyes because they have not been allowed to live the life of a child. How his mornings would consist of counting the bodies of the dead children who passed away during the night. We see these things on the nightly news while eating dinner and to most of us its another world, not the one we live in and it doesn't really affect us. But for them, that is their world. A nightmare from which for many there is no escape. He spoke of these things for a while, then he said something that has stuck in my head since he said it. This man that I have come to know to be strong, powerful, cock sure of himself and confident whispered he was scared. He said that word before falling into sleep.
I have never heard him say that before. He never showed that he had that feeling whenever he talked about this. All this time I thought I admired him for being so tough, so brave, so strong. For not having any fear like I would have if I was in his shoes. For not having the fear I have now for all the things that could go wrong that I imagine in my head. Then he said that word tonight and its just stuck with me since he whispered it. In spite of being scared about what lies ahead, he is still willing to face his fears and do what his heart believes in. And for that, I admire him even more than I did when I thought he had no fears.
It almost morning here, time to get some sleep for myself. I have a glass of water and some aspirin sitting next to the bed for him in the morning. When he wakes, he is going to have one well deserved hang over.