Friday, August 31, 2007

My Boys Are Here

Five of me friends from the States are here to visit me for a week. Can you smell the testosterone!

I stocked up on the beer for their visit.

I even got the boys a few dates!


They're country boys, like they never...

We went out tonight for a few drinks to the sports bar, but came home early. They are all suffering jet lag right now. So we're about to settle down to a night of just hanging out at my place and enjoying some stories and getting caught up on each others lives.

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Thursday, August 30, 2007


Isn't he just the cutest! I could just hug him all day long!


Back to the jogging routine for me today. I actually missed jogging the last week. So it will be good to get back out and get a workout.

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Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Job Offers

This past week has been a very busy week for me. I had two job offers that I am seriously considering. One is in Vancouver working with computer animations on something I would really love to be involved in. Another is from my current boss working on his boat based in Ireland, which is another thing I would really love to do.
I spent the last week getting acquainted with the boat job. It was hard work, but rewarding. I love being on the water, the fresh air, the freedom. It's very hard to go back to the desk job today. I'm not going to get much accomplished at work today because my mind is still out on the boat.
I will be following up with the Vancouver job in a few weeks. I just played voice messages and they left three for me. Seems they may want me to fly in and meet with them. I will have to give them a call and discuss details.

This is going to be a long day.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Fare Thee Well

Men of Erin - Fare Thee Well


A guy I work with passed away yesterday. He was only 40 years old. His family said he wasn't taking his medication for his Diabetes like he should.

Sad, that is way too early to die. I didn't know him very well, we spoke only on occasion. He worked a later shift and we would usually just say hi and bye. Several of my co-workers are going to the funeral, but I have decided not to attend. I will just send flowers and my condolences. Funerals are too traumatic for me to deal with, so I have decided from now on to only go to those of family and close friends.

The news of his death though, led me to do some reflecting on life. I often think I have many years still to live, but when someone like this dies so young, it makes you rethink and wonder how many years you yourself have left?

There are still a lot of things I want to do in this life before I go, but if I should go suddenly and soon I would be content with me life. I have had a great family life growing up, made lots of great friends whom I consider my extended family, known the love of me pets, and I have loved and been loved. I have traveled about, been to places I only dreamed about as a child.

I have also experienced heartaches, disappointments, and failures. I have learned you can't trust everyone you meet, that some people are just mean spirited and bitter about their own lives and try to bring you down when they see you are happy in life.

As a gay man, I also know there will be those who hate me for being who I am. But as the saying goes, those that mind, don't matter and those that matter, don't mind. I used to get into lots of fights growing up and I have learned that fighting does not solve the problem. But it shuts the MFer up when you beat the shit out of him!

The most important lesson I have learned in this life is to be thankful for the short time we have together with family, friends, pets. For the love of those close to our hearts in this life is the best gift we can give or receive.

In reflecting on life, I am happy with the one I am living. There are a few things I would have changed over the years, but all in all, its been a good life so far.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Soul Mate

A cute little video.

To those who inquired, no I did not end up in a jail cell last night with a big burly man. My friend and I actually behaved ourselves. We took a drive, ate dinner at Supermacs, went grocery shopping and came back home and made some hot chocolate and cinnamon bagels and watched a couple movies. I know, I know two lads set loose on Ireland on a Saturday night and this is how we behave. It's downright scandalous. We we're probably in the morning papers.

I spent the day sleeping and now I am having trouble sleeping when I should be asleep. Another week of work coming up. Well, I am off to take a piss and get a drink of water and then its back to bed for me. Everyone enjoy your week!

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Beautiful Love

I got a phone call from me guy today. We talked for a whole hour. He is feeling homesick, so I had to cheer him up. I had him laughing and in good spirits when we said goodbye. That has helped me to cheer up and now I am in a better mood today.

I have a friend here now who wants me to go out with him tonight. I tried to tell him I didn't feel like it, but it didn't work. Back in the states if I got in a mood and one of me friends tried to bother me to go out I could threaten bodily harm and they would leave me alone. That doesn't seem to work on these Irish boys. Me friend kept nagging me to go out and when I threatened to punch him if he didn't leave me alone his reply was in heavy Irish tongue, "You'n a hit me, I'll give you a clatter in the jaw back. Still when we're done beating the shite out of each other, ya gonna git out of those scunders and put some nice clothes on and we're gowin out!" So needless to say, threats don't work on these Irish MF'ers. They love a good fight before going out.

But we did compromise. I said I didn't want to go out and just sit in some pub and drink, so we are just going out with no definite destination. We'll let the day take us. Not sure what I am getting myself into. Why do I have this feeling in the pit of me stomach that at 2:00am later I am going to be sitting in some jail cell, some big beastly man staring at me and I will be wondering why I listened to this Townie and wishing I had just beat the shit out of him.

John Barrowman

John Barrowman - openly gay actor from Torchwood. Here is a video of him kissing his boyfriend on stage. I just read an interview with him and he is very fortwright and articulate. What a great gay role model.

John Barrowman -

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Friday, August 17, 2007

Feeling Down Today

I woke up tired and sad today. Missing me guy, missing him lots today. Almost two weeks he has been gone.

I don't feel very much like talking or putting on a happy face for me friends today, so I think I am just going to stay in tonight, spend some quiet time, watch a good movie. Sorry for being all depressed, it won't last long. I just need a moment today to be sad.

To Budajsguy - Thinking of you and your first day of school. Wishing you a great year! To all friends going out tonight - have fun, be safe.

My guy loves Coldplay, so here is a song for him.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007


I have a gripe today. The neighbors moved out and the landlord is painting their flat. Usually no problem, smell of pant does not bother me. But the paint they are using must be some cheap, illegal shit. It smells like gasoline. My whole flat last night and now tonight when I came home still smells like I have a gas leak. I keep walking around smelling and wondering, is the paint from next door or do I have a gas leak? I think its just the paint fumes because they have that flat all closed up and its seaping into my flat.

But if by chance you hear of an apartment in Dublin blowing up, then you will know I was wrong and I really did have a gas leak. Fortunately its cool enough to keep the windows open. I only wish the morons that did the painting kept their windows open.

I watched "Holiday" with Jude Law last night. He was too cute in this movie. If you havn't seen the movie yet, rent it just for his performance. You will fall in love with him. The movie is actually really good too, which I didn't expect.

I am off to the pub for dinner and drinks with a couple friends. Enjoy your night everyone. And for me friends in the States still at work, I just want to say sucks to be you!

Monday, August 13, 2007

Phone Call

I was having a great day today, had lunch with a friend and we laughed all during lunch. Work was easy, I answered loads of personal emails that I have been foresaken for a long time. Then tonight I just received a call from me mate. He is doing well for all those who emailed me asking. It was great to hear his voice. I even had a good jog tonight. Now I am off to get a bath and watch some telly before bed.
Posting a pic of Shane just because its been days since I have.
The only thing that was a negative for the day was that I didn't get to see any of the meteor shower that happened last night. Too overcast. Hope anyone else who stayed up late or woke up early to see them had a chance to get a glimpse of a few.


Since I don't have to hurry home to anyone for a few months, I have decided to change my working hours to a later start time. It will mean getting home later in the day, but it is going to give me time to go jogging in the mornings before work.

Last week after me guy left, I started eating a lot. Not because I was hungry, but because I was bored. I have worked hard to get to the weight I should be and be in good shape, so I didn't want to start putting on weight.

I went to the market and bought lots of fresh fruits and vegetables. So now if I am bored and want to eat something, at least it will be healthy. I have decided to get back into jogging, although I don't know if the knees can hold up to that constant pounding. But I am going to give it a shot for awhile.

One of the things I have missed has been stretching. I wouldn't mind taking a Yoga class, but whenever I look at people doing Yoga I see them bent in positions I don't want to put my body in. But I do like stretching and I am looked up some exercises I can do from home before I go out jogging.

So wish me luck with it all. Not sure how long I will keep it up. But it beats sitting home on the couch being all depressed.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Friday, August 10, 2007

Finally Friday!

If That's OK With You

I am going out with some friends tonight. I don't really want to go out tonight, but it's the first weekend being alone and I didn't want to sit at home either. It's been a long week, I am glad the weekend has finally arrived. Everyone going out tonight, have fun and be safe.

No Promises

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Cold Fingers

Later today I have to do what a man has to do! Get a physical. It's the old turn your head and cough time of year. Just hope he warms his hands first!

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

A Kiss

I did so much kissing this last weekend, I chapped me lips. Anyone that knows me knows I love to kiss. I think just lying in someones arms and kissing is sometimes better than having sex.

There is nothing like a good Cher song, and a few hot men kissing, to get a gay man feeling better.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

I'll Wait

And so it begins. My man has gone. Off to do the job he has been sent to do. As much as I will be worried about him and wanted him to stay, I knew I could not ask this of him. For to do that would be to ask him not to be the man he is.

After he left I went back to his flat which I will be taking care of while he is gone. I really didn't know where to go. I thought being at his place would make him being gone a bit easier to take. But I was wrong. It was the worst place to be. Just hours before he was there. The smell of his cologne still lingered in the air. Pictures of us hang on the wall. Silent memories, reminders of his presence in this life. Where we once shared laughter and love, now there is only the ticking of the clock in the kitchen to break the silence. I could only spend a few moments there before it got to depressing. I gave his plants some water and headed home.

On the walk back me mind raced with so many thoughts. I felt lost, alone. I haven't felt like this in a long time. I didn't want to go home. Yet I didn't know where else to go. So I just started running. I just ran and ran and ran. I ran until I just fell down in the park exhausted. I laid there for awhile, lost in thought until a few raindrops fell on me and brought me back to the here and now.

Now I am home. Had a shower and as I dressed I found one of his t-shirts he left. I put it on and even though its just a shirt, it somehow makes it feel like part of him is still here with me.

I signed on tonight to check emails. I found an email he sent me earlier today. In it was this video I posted. I quickly sent him off an email. In the past, I could send him an email through the day and he would respond quickly. Now it won't be that instant response. And so it begins, the waiting. Waiting for a letter, an email, a phone call. Waiting for the day he returns. Three months, six months, longer? Will I even be in Ireland when he returns? I don't know what the future holds, or how long it will take. But if you get to read this, I just wanted to answer you and say....For you I'd wait, til Kingdom comes. For you I'd wait until my days are done. For you, I'll wait. Just come home safe.

Friday, August 3, 2007


The reason I have not been posting much on this blog the last couple weeks is because I wanted to spend as much time as possible with my man. His job is sending him overseas and he will be gone at least three months. Although the average time for those sent has been six months or longer and where he is going, I won't be able to go visit.

He leaves Sunday night, so this is the last weekend we will get to spend together. I am trying to hold it together and smile for him, be strong for him and I know he is doing the same for me. But its been hard to keep it together.

Into every life, a little rain must fall. Living in Ireland, that statement can actually be taken literally. Yet, it's how we deal with the rain that determines our future. We are often shaped by the pain in our lives, as much as we are the happy times. I am going to once again be facing life alone. Yeah, I have friends here that will be of some comfort. But it won't be the same as having that special someone at home waiting for me when I get there. To feel his loving embrace and know that no matter how bad the day was, everything is now alright safe in his arms.

See Your Heart, Raise You Mine