Gareth has gone. He's in London tonight before they head out tomorrow for South Africa. We talked for about an hour on the phone earlier. A lot of his friends came yesterday to see him off and there we're lots of tears from his friends, but lots of laughs too.
In the end it was me driving him to the airport. I was actually doing good with it all for most of the day until I parked the car and looked over at him. He looked at me, this man of mine who doesn't cry very often and makes fun of others when they do, with tears in his eyes. That's when I lost it. We leaned to each other with tears running down both of our faces and just leaned our heads against each other. We sat in the car for a bit and kissed and just held hands and stared in each others eyes for the longest time, no words being said. I just wanted to keep holding on to him and I would have if time would have let me. But time waits for no one and before we knew it we were walking through the airport. I hung around long enough to watch his plane take off and then drove back home not knowing when I would see him again. I've never loved anyone like this before and watching him leave, letting him go, was one of the hardest things I've had to do.
I didn't get much sleep last night and today at work, the day just dragged and seemed to go on forever. I couldn't really focus much on anything and didn't really get anything accomplished. Found myself staring at my computer several times, lost in thought until someone said something to me and snapped me out of my thoughts. I'm actually looking forward to getting back to sea. I think thats the place I need to be right now.
I came home after work tonight, fed the cats, took a long hot bath, and spent the night looking at photo albums, waiting for him to call when he got in to his room. Spent an hour talking to him. I've taken to sleeping on the couch now, the bed being too big and lonely without him beside me. Eventually I'll get back in a routine, but for now a big dish of Raspberry and Chocolate ice cream and the movie "The Holiday" are going to get me through tonight.