It's back to life on the sea. Part of me has gotten used to being at home and seeing Gareth every day and my cats and having a family life. Still, the other half of me is ready to get back to sea and all the adventures and discoveries that await. People ask me all the time if I'm scared to be at sea and have something happen. With the recent drownings of the three football players from the states, its brought out this question many times this past week. All I can say is yes I'm aware that is a risk, but we are surrounded by risks all the time and you can't live in fear of what might happen.
I don't know why I like being at sea as much as I do. Ever since I was able to speak I wanted to be two things, an astronaut or a sailor. Most people would choose to be a sports hero or a musician or actor, but not me. Not having perfect vision told me at an early age I would not be an astronaut, so I prepared for a life in the Navy. I had enlisted in a Navy cadet training program through middle and high school and loved everything about it. I was going to join when I graduated, but my parents both got sick and I had to stay and take care of my family.
Even though other things called me to a different path in life, I often thing about what my life would have been like had I made a career out of the Navy. With me being gay it probably wouldn't have been something I could have made a career. Not with the living in silence of who I really was. That is why I am really big on Obama opening up the military to allow gay people to serve their country and be open about who they are. So that other gay boys and girls who want to serve their country can do so openly and with pride. This is already allowed in Ireland and the UK and several other European countries.
We all have a part to play in life and the path I took was probably the better one for me to follow. It has led me to where I am now doing a job I really love, with a great guy at home and I wouldn't trade it for any desk job in the world.
Standing on the deck of the ship on a clear night, with only the sound of the ship moving through the ocean and more stars than you've seen in your life shining above you is as close to heaven as I've found on Earth. See you in a few days.
11 comments:
thought i would say, i'm a member or the Royal Australian Air Force, and marched in the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras on Saturdya night, with over a hundred navy/army/air force personnel. it saddens me to think of other countries that STILL openly discriminate society but not allowing homosexual persons to enlist in military forces. :(
i marched to support my comrades, but more to rub our nations acceptance of diversity in the faces of those who still choose to be so close-minded.
i enjoy reading your blog and the pics of irish-decadence you provide. ;) keep up the good work.
neal, from australia
AI, you're a wanderer and an explorer! Hence, your love of the sea! But it's Gareth who'll be your anchor. Godspeed!
Your last paragraph was one of the best parts about my time in the Navy. I was one of the few people I knew that preferred to be at sea rather than in port. The people and friends I made were the top reason. the travel was second. I envy you having a job that takes you to sea.
Enjoy it.
It's amazing how we, as humans, feel attached to the sea... to the grand ocean. It makes us feel so empty and so full inside at the same time. The feeling you have when you stand before it is definitely the one I call "saudade".
Good to know you chose the right path for you. I'm still trying to find my own... and time is runing out.
have fun, work hard, be safe. We love you.
Gareth is going to miss you. You always talk and write on your blog of you missing him, but I know he misses you just as much. You're poor cats are probably crying for you too. Hugs.
I grew up on the coast even though I now live in the mountains. I've always felt drawn to the sea, especially in times of trouble. It is very soothing to walk a beach and sort out your thoughts. I have always come away from the beach with a clear head and new outlook on whatever was bothering me. My only experience 'at sea' was with my brother-in-law when I was about 15 years old. I spent a few days in the gulf of Mexico on a Coast Guard buoy tender. It was interesting the first few days, but how many buoys can a 15 year old get excited about? I think of the verse 'I look to the sea, reflections in the waves spark my memories. Some happy, some sad. I think of childhood friends and the dreams we had'. I have a lot of fond memories of vacations at the family's houses on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. I hope you continue to enjoy your work on the oceans, it's got to beat any desk job anywhere in the world.
Thanks for the nice comments and Joel just remember, we all have our place in this world, one day you'll find yours I know it. In the meantime, enjoy where you are in life. For when you find what your looking for, you'll look back on the journey and realize it made you who you are.
Jen, my one cat is napping on my lap and the other is sitting on my shoulder watching the cursor move around the screen. I would agree they missed me as I have missed them.
Take care and get your boyfriend to buy you a medal of St Elmo. He's the patron saint of sailors.
He's also the patron saint of women in labour. Lols.
I guess that will come in handy if I ever get pregnant at sea. lol
I actually do have a lucky charm, two actually. One if a necklace with an Irish charm and the other is a picture of Gareth and my two cats. I carry it with me while I'm at sea.
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