So Far From Me

BAD SKIN DAY - BELLX1

Another weekend gone, another night spent alone wondering where you are, what you are doing, and when you are coming back home to me?

Tonight I watered your plants, dusted and ran the vaccum to keep your flat clean. After doing this, I realized I had nowhere to be tonight, so I sprayed some of your cologne in the air to make it feel as though you had recently been there and I sat down for a moment on the couch. I saw your photo album under the coffee table and looked through it. Pictures of your family, friends, and you as a lad all the way to the wonderful man you are today filling its pages. I was pleasantly surprised to see pictures of us in the back of the album, the newest additions. (I still have to organize my pictures and take them out of the box in the closet and put into a photo album).

I closed my eyes and imagined you were there with me. Many thoughts and memories filling my head and for a brief moment I forgot it was all just a dream and you weren't really there. Eventually I opened my eyes and was alone again in the flat.

I got a drink and went out on the balcony and stood. The lights from the city flickering in the distance. I watched and listened to the cars going by and I wondered what stories they would tell of their lives. Were they hurrying home to someone they loved, or escaping from someone they hate? Did they have someone to love and love them back, or are they lost in their loneliness wondering where love will find them? Are they celebrating the birth of a child or mourning the death of parent? Were they driving to or from work, stopping to pick up dinner or run an errand along the way? Each of us has a story of our lives and I couldn't help but wonder what some of their stories would be?

As I stood there on the balcony, thinking all these thoughts, there was a strong breeze blowing across the land bringing with it the chill of the winter to come which was making its presence known. The cool air felt good against my face and hair and it somehow gave me assurance that I was alive and this wasn't all just a dream. I had put on your jacket from your closet before going outside and when my hands became chilled, I put them into the pockets of the jacket. I felt something against my fingers and upon pulling it out and looking at it I realized it was your pendant with the broken clasp. I held it in my hand, thoughts of you, so far away, once again filling my mind.